By:  Jodie Morgan

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face and the egg is laying there looking put out. The egg mutters to no one in particular, “ I guess we answered that question”.
I heard this joke the other night and it brought my mind around to another label that has been bestowed by our community, the infamous Pillow Princess.
The definition of a Pillow Princess is one who receives and never reciprocates, thats right my friends, she lays back, gets on her knees, bows over the couch, anything, well almost anything, your heart desires, except, give. No one has taught this princess that it is better to give than receive, or maybe they did and she is just assisting in making her partner feel good about their savvy techniques. A good receiver can boost ones ego.
I myself have known several such princesses and in my Don Quixote way, I was wanting to be their Knight, or at least a one night stand. But, since I  consider myself a “switch” I too like to have the feeling of  the bottom of my  heels scraping against the ceiling. But, I will admit a Pillow Princess can be mega fun, and create mega memories.
So, with my experience and listening to others talk about their submissive, I chose to look deeper into this and share it with you my dear friends.
In reading interviews and articles written by and about these Princesses that hold court in our community and have us boi’s/butches bowing to their every need, this is what I have come up with. One such princess confessed that her new partner had brought up the subject that their sex life was null.  Our princess stated that she had been tired lately with her new job, etc. and that in the past she had dated really butch / boi’s and that they had set boundaries not to be touched, so reciprocation was never an issue, and she became spoiled. Instead of explaining this to her partner she just denied sex completely.
I can understand this, and before you past judgment I am sure you too my friends have had those moments where your partner has just spent hours making you her love slave, you find your legs weak, heart beating fast, and the thought of just getting up to go to the bathroom seems like a quest set for a Knight, then you look, there she is, the reason for such bodily inadequacies, looking with eyes beaming. Now comes the question, can you really muster the energy? I use the analogy of getting a massage, after a deep, long massage, it really does take away from it if you have to roll over and give one yourself. I myself am somewhat like my butch counterparts; I literally get off pleasing my partner, so it can be a win win situation.
I don’t think we should make our sexual interaction into you do me then I do you. If so are we not setting up ourselves to feel like our princess above, to where she felt it better just not to have sex then to be faced with this predicament.
Another Princess when interviewed stated she was proud to be a Pillow Princess and found that she kept her date card full because of it. She referenced the fact that due to her being a “lipstick” lesbian the more butch/ boi’s were attracted to her. With this she stated that most of them were in the group that they did not want to be touched. When asked why did she feel she fell into the label of Pillow Princess she stated, “It’s basically just how I’m wired. I have to have at least three [orgasms] and if I don’t have three I’m pissed. I’m disappointed, you know? Disappointed in myself, God, and whomever I’m with at the time. Three or above and I’m cool—but my preference is six. Less than three, forget it. I guess this makes me selfish, but by the time I’ve actually had six [mind-blowing orgasms], well, I just don’t feel like moving afterward, nope, not at all. And I know that sounds selfish, but there are ways to rig it so the other woman doesn’t mind.”  This brings up the “flattery will get you anywhere” She stated she showers her “stud” with adjectives on their sexual abilities and coyly lays back and says, “ baby just look at what you have done to me. “
I have to say this new dating thing has broadened my mind, and has me looking into just writing down all the labels we seem as a community to pass around like cookies at a tea party. But it all boils down to this, communication, communication, communication. As long as no one is feeling neglected then what’s the issue, and as for our first princess once she communicated to her partner the issue, they came up with a solution, “ you do me and I owe you one”.