WEEKEND WARRIOR – INTERACTION WITH WOMEN

NOTE:  I apologize for the length of this article but hang in there I think it will be worth it!
Sometimes when I get inspired to write I think I know what I’m writing about but then something happens that really clears it up and I know for certain what my topic is.  Such is the case for this article.  It began as story about a single girls weekend and then just like that after attending a magical International Women’s Day event it became clear to me that this article is really about “interacting with women.”  Really isn’t that what it’s all about, more especially for Lesbians since our mates are women.  Whether they are our play mates, love mates, work mates – our focus is women.  And I think what I strive for is interaction with women and when it happens such as it did this weekend it is magical.  So keep that in mind while I tell you about my weekend.

FRIDAY NIGHT:
While being single is new it brings many benefits of which I’ve not really had the opportunity to partake until now.  This weekend in particular has really been FUN.  It started out Friday night with a double date for dinner and country western dancing.  Dinner was wonderful and it is always a good time getting to know folks so it only gets better from there.  And “there” is country western dancing!  If you show up early like we did you get a “free” lesson.  Now where else can you get “free” these days?  So we all learned the basic two step that night and how to turn.  We also had to decide who was going to lead and who was going to follow.  It wasn’t a contest for my date and I and we settled in to me leading with her following.  But ultimately just like in life what you discover in country western dancing is that a really good dancer can do both even if they prefer one over the other.

And I am telling you there are some pretty smooth dancers out there.  So the next lesson requires newbies pairing up with veterans and I can’t wait for that.  Although I may have scared a few off with my stories about “hand placement” but we will get to that later.

Dinner, dancing and a date – that was my Friday night.  There was great interaction with women and I went home a tired but happy camper.  Not bad for this learning girl. 

SATURDAY NIGHT:
Saturday turned out to be great too!  It started with women’s basketball at the local university and ended with Karaoke at an Irish Pub with friends.  It doesn’t get much better than Karaoke but I digress. LOL 

There was a gem in between basketball and Karaoke and that was the “single gals dining group (they meet the first Saturday of every month, contact dining_ladies@yahoo.com).” I started going last year.  It was truly awkward at first.  But last night was the best one I’d ever been too.  The food wasn’t the best but it was good and it was the first time we had our own private room.  The proprietors were friendly and they didn’t rush us out so we stayed there and had wonderful conversation till almost 9PM.  The room was open and conducive to “interaction” and so it happened for the first time that we had a group conversation and it was lovely.  Women are lovely and to be amongst them when they truly open up and share themselves is well, a blessing.  And to be honest I really don’t enjoy surface conversations.  I know they’re a necessary part of getting to know people but …

Most of the time at these dinners one is seated in a specific spot at a long table and is there for the whole evening.  Sometimes you might sit next to someone who is shy and not talking much and other times you might meet someone who is chatty like me.  But last night “the shy one” shared and I heard from women I had never heard from before.  I watched in delight and chimed in every now and again.  But how lucky I felt to be there on this night, the night something clicked.  Something did happen there and it was magical.  The kind of magical that makes one feel closer to a group of women you’ve only known for a short while.  It was “interaction” and engagement and it was magical.

Ok so enough of that mushy stuff lets get to karaoke.  So last week at country western dancing I ran into a gal that I knew when I was with the ex.  She was single then and now she is partnered up with a lovely gal and is very happy.  It was so good to see her and plus she gives good hugs.  To the gals in the singles group my friend Sally had been single for 18 years before finally meeting someone that she is “in love with” and they live together too.  So it can happen.  Anyway, Sally told me about a mutual friend that she introduced me to Jennie.  Jennie and her loving husband Joe are wonderful people.  The ex and I use to attend parties where we would karaoke for hours with Jen.  Jennie had become a karaoke celebrity now and I wanted to see and hear this.  So low and behold on this Saturday night, Sally texts me to come to this Irish Pub where Jen is performing and surprise her.  So I go and it’s so good to see Jen and Joe and Sally’s son.  I am welcomed back like I was never gone and life is good.  But it get’s even better because I love, love, love karaoke.  So I talk Jen into doing a duet with me.  But first she get’s up and does a number that get’s the crowd going and what a great crowd and great bunch of singers too.  Jennie goes to karaoke almost three times a week.  In her words she is a “karaoke whore.”  LOL  I love it!

Several songs go by and then it’s time to perform our duet.  I picked the song, what do think of “Unforgettable” with Nat King Cole and daughter Natalie Cole?  I love that song and I love the old standards.  We pull it off, the crowd goes crazy, we get a standing ovation… Maybe I’m exaggerating just a little. LOL

But karaoke with good friends was fun and it was only Saturday night.  I still had Sunday to go so hold on.

SUNDAY:
So it’s Sunday and instead of going to church I am heading off to pick up a friend and attend the International Women’s Day event at the Siena put on by Donna Clontz from AAUW (American Association of University Women).  What a fantastic job Donna did and if you are not a member of AAUW you might consider joining (aauw.org).  Check them out at:    Over 200, countem 200 women were in attendance with women flying in to join us from countries like India, Mexico, Sudan, Germany etc.  There was at least one woman of international origin at every table and I volunteered to host a table and what a treat I was in for.  There were 10 women at our table and Salma from India was our International guest.  She is a Chairperson on a Social Welfare board in India and a poet.  A social activist turned political leader. She wore a striking cobalt blue sari which shone well against her skin and hair color.  She had a strong Indian accent which caused us to have to ask her to repeat herself a few times before we understood her.  In fact the gal sitting next to her was kind enough to listen hard and translate her answers and questions.

The majority of table was comprised of professors and a Dean from TMCC.  Two black women an Indian woman and me all at one table in Reno.  It was the most women of color I’ve been around since I moved her.  We went around the table to find out what each other did and then we dove in and talked about the issues for women in India and noticed how common they were with our issues here.  Issues like Domestic Violence and Child Abuse, lack of educational opportunities and inequality in pay and job opportunities.  And then one of the Dean’s associates spoke about how the Dean had “lifted her up” by helping her with her self esteem.  The support the Dean gave this woman clearly helped her progress in a positive fashion to a better job, one she thought she’d never have.  And she never would have participated in a group like this before.  Then the Dean spoke about how important it was for women to “support women.”  She didn’t say “each one teach one” but that is what she meant.  And while briefly one woman spoke of how cutthroat women can be to women.  We all agreed that we need to support each other in any way that we can.  We were in the middle of a great conversation when it was time for the speakers to begin.  The first speaker Judge Deborah Schumacher spoke about justice and how the justice system wasn’t really built to accommodate family issues and how most of us don’t really have access to it anyway because we can’t afford it.  A statement that is more true than most of us know.

The second speaker, Dr. Jill Derby gave us the history of International Women’s Day including when the United Nations conviened the first conference on The Status of Women in Mexico City in the 70’s.  Dr. Derby has her degree in Cultural Anthropology and when it came time to declare her focus she wanted it to be “Women’s Studies.”  But in the 70’s they told her she couldn’t study women there was no such thing.  Can you remember when?  When there was no Women’s Studies in college?  When a woman could only work certain jobs and could not work the traditional male jobs.  When a girl could not have a paper route, could not go to the Naval Academy.  There was no Title 9 then.  Women didn’t learn to work together on athletic teams to achieve a common goal.  Those of us grew up pre Title 9 entered a man’s workforce and we modeled ourselves after men.  We had to if we wanted to move up the career ladder.  We were dog eat dog, and it was very competitive.  The idea of supporting one another was brand new for some and old hat for others.

So it was a magical day and a magical weekend, filled with interaction with women, both gay and straight.  I was invigorated all weekend by all of these women.  It doesn’t get any better than this.  Life is good!

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