Feeling like Fred.

My biggest fear is becoming my Uncle Fred!  Yes, I actually have an uncle, named Fred.  Uncle Fred is a super great guy.  He has an awesome sense of humor, he’s considerate and he always produced the best Christmas presents for my brothers, sisters and me.  His favorite hobbies include fishing, hunting, walking the dog and wearing flannel shirts.  He stands at six feet, seven inches tall, maybe 250 lbs (after the diet) and he has a slight comb-over. 

Becoming a mirror image of my uncle physically is not my concern, nor is taking up his favorite hobbies.  My concern is that my uncle is in his 60’s; single, never married and his last girlfriend had been in his 20’s.  To my knowledge, my uncle doesn’t have a secret sexual passion for men either. 

My curiosity is very peaked by why my uncle has given up the pussy.  Even though I am so intrigued by this, I’ve never asked him directly about why he has chosen a completely single lifestyle. I did, however, ask my father, uncle Fred’s brother.  According to my dad, my uncle was hot and heavy with this woman he considered to be the love of his life.  They were going steady for a little over two years and even had plans to marry.  Apparently out of nowhere, the woman that he had put all his dreams into, approached him with news of “somebody else”.  Uncle Fred was devastated and apparently he never recovered.

I think about dating, the awkwardness, the shot down expectations and the whole process of starting from scratch with someone.  Building an empire can be fun and exciting if you’re growing to like someone, or it can be just the opposite.  Dating to figure out that there is no fit.  Starting over again when you thought you had the world at your fingertips and wondering if you’ll have the world again is what makes me feel like Fred. 

Lately, this feeling like my uncle feeling has faded a bit.    I know I can trust and love again; it will just come back with time and with a great person.  I figure that the perfect woman for me will pop up at Michael’s one day.  I’ll be examining the picture hanging hardware attempting to find something that will hold over 100 lbs, she’ll be browsing the frames.  She’ll glance over at me wanting and expecting my opinion of her soon to be purchase, when our eye’s lock.  Soon, she is thrusting herself against me, our lips are intertwined, and glass is shattering.  Oh, how I love public display and oh I love women. 

Sorry Uncle Fred, I may be fearful of being hurt, but who isn’t?   At some point one has to let go of being so over protective of their heart.  I really can’t quit the ladies and I don’t want to spend my life’s entirety solo.