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My disbelief doesn’t stem from the shitty divorce rates our country suffers from or the non-existent marriage that “we gays” have. My disbelief comes from my own urges and witnessed urges of others around me. That wondering eye can’t keep its hands to itself sometimes.
I’m guilty, I’ll say it here. I’m guilty of dreaming of multiples (people and orgasms, yes). I dream of a nice spice rack with parsley, basil, red crushed pepper and some condiments like soy sauce. How do I juggle all of these, though? There would be spillage or I’d create some sort of mess that I’d have to clean up. That’s the trouble. Also, there’s the “where has your mouth been”, issue and that’s not pretty. I’d have to borrow the live-in VD specialist from the Mustang Ranch.
Should responsible, free love be practiced? Some may see non-monogamous or polyamorous relationships as wrong or whore-ish, but if it’s known and talked about with the people involved, I think “yay”! Although for some, the deceptive non-monogamy is what makes non-monogamous relationships interesting. Dirty little secrets are exciting. It’s the secrets and hiding that adds that extra drip, but tears at hearts of those that believed that their relationship was monogamous. Hurting isn’t fun.
I don’t know about you, but my dreams change on occasion. They aren’t the same every night when I lay my head to rest. The same goes for my dream girl. I don’t think anyone can fit into a mold of your dreams. If I look back on who I’ve loved and committed myself to, they’re all different and I found something extremely valuable about them all. If I brought all of those women together to live in a love series called Susan, I’d say, “wow”. It’d be a great team and isn’t that what employers strive for? Ok, so maybe I just want it all.
So I’m currently dating, checking out my options. I don’t want to say yes to romantic relationships and I don’t want to say no. This is why I feel that an open relationship would be fitting for me. Wouldn’t it be nice to have a “main squeeze” and some back-up dancers? I’m sure my views will change…maybe even by next week, but for now I’d like to think that monogamy is not an option.
How do you feel about it?
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The mere thought of having multiple partners at a time, sounds fun! Why not, right? If both parties are down, I say, “Why not??” I do think what is most cherished in a monogamous relationship, is that you’re “main squeeze” knows you inside and out. Loves you for ALL you are and is there with you through all the shit and stink we have to deal with in this life. Wouldn’t it just be simply fabulous to be able to go home to the “one”, and to know they’re your LOVE, but not to be afraid if you have your eye on someone, they won’t freak out and run away and break up with you forever?…. An open relationship is an oxymoron in itself. Does “open” mean you can “have your eye on someone” – does “open” mean you can simply kiss whoever you want, or does “open” mean you can even have sexual relationships with whoever you want??? What about disease, what about jealousy? What if they’re not seeing anyone else and you are? What if they’re seeing someone and you aren’t? Where is that balance? Can you add “parsley, basil, red crushed pepper and some condiments like soy sauce” to one meal, and expect it to taste good?
I think in time you may have a different point of view. Let’s call it like we see it .. you want your cake (main squeeze) and you want to eat it too (any one who strikes your fancy) … in older generations we would call you a player/swinger. Knowing you on a personal basis, I think for you when the ‘right’ woman comes a knockin on your door, you will gladly swing it wide open and welcome her .. and only her .. with open arms meant only for her. You have time and don’t need to rush to monogamy, but when she shows up .. you won’t be able to settle down to only one fast enough!
Dear Pat Deepness—-I’d be the noodles, absorbing the flavors. Who doesn’t like a little stir-fry on occasion. Ya-yay
Dear Miss Nancy—–You’re probably right!
I think that most individuals on the planet do prefer “madly, deeply” in love. I have only one friend that is in an open relationship, and they bring “said outsider” into the bedroom ocassionally, and when they’re together in the bedroom. They’re two little mother hens most of the time. I think it’s every person for themselves.
What happens to your flavors after a while, Ms. Noodles? Eventually they may want to experiment with a marinara sauce of sorts? Soon those noodles of yours will get bland and stale with lack of taste. But the rice underneath you, now that will always be there to support your delicious dish.